Love and Dating

Looking back in our time machine to our childhood, thinking about the type of movies that we watched, we realize that media has had an impact on how we perceive love. Many of them, especially Disney movies, portrait a perfect love story with the catchy phrase: “And they lived happily ever after”. It is a fact that marriages and relationships, where there is love, are still going to hit bumpy road. Other necessary factors, besides just love, are necessary in order to be successful and “… live [in harmony] ever after”. In order to achieve this harmony, we first need to understand that another Disney type of misconception is that there is such a thing as a “Prince Charming”.

Love has been a part of our human culture since the beginning of time and is a drive for many behaviors. It brings great joy and balance in our lives. Disney movies have a distorted idea of what love is. Nevertheless, they did get one right: the fact that in love we must fight dragons and enemies. Those enemies and dragons are the struggles and problems of marriage. Everybody has to go through them; there is no exception. An important part of love is knowing how to solve these struggles and learning to keep the spark alive.  

Gender Roles

My biggest concern this week came up after watching the documentary on Gender Roles, where I saw how extremists some people can be in enforcing equality. I do not disagree with the idea of equality. As a matter of fact, I support righteous movements for equality in aspects that do not contradict our human and divine nature. It is important to understand what our purpose in this life is and then we will be able to understand how the traits and weaknesses that we have been given are specifically directed to helping us play that role and achieve our purpose. It made me wonder what would happen if men decided that it was not fair for them not not be able to give birth. Do we start a movement that enables us males to be able to give birth? I hope you understand the sarcasm behind the last comment; but that is the way that I feel when I hear about extremist feminist movements who search to be able to do everything that man can do.

The best way I have been able to understand gender roles and differences is by comparing it to tools in a garage. When a task needs to be done we know what tools are needed to best fulfill this task. If a nail needs to be pushed in, we need the strength of the hammer. We cannot use a screwdriver to do such a thing. Imagine the screwdriver starting a movement so that they use their handle to push in the nails. It simply does not work that way. Gender differences are crucial to find balance and progression as a community. 

Equality means that we are treated righteously respecting our weaknesses and strengths given to us as male and female.

Family cultures

The first concept we need to understand is what defines a culture. A culture, in my opinion, is any group of people who adopt specific ideas, values, beliefs, rules and laws. In a culture people are capable of identifying with one another because of their similarities. The problem with these sense of identification is that creates biases. These biases lead us to belief that our way is better than anybody else culture.

Based on my own biases, I believe that all cultures aren’t equal. Rather, there are many cultures that are a menace to humanity because they violate human freedoms that we inherit at birth; such as, life itself. I understand that human nature leads us to strive find a sense of superiority over other cultures. Although we do it naturally, I do not believe we have the right to proclaim that a culture is better than another. We can flip the coin and try to see it from their perspective; then we are left off with their arguments and reasoning defending their culture.

After much debate and pondering, I was able to bring to words my own position in this argument; mostly based in my own family culture – although I could exemplify my position by referring to extremist cultures that have adopted beliefs such as polygamy, cannibalism, inequality between men and women; and in some third world countries even people who leave justice in the hands of violence. Thinking about my own family and my experiences growing up in the culture that had been long established by generations before me; I was able to reflect on the fact that I am in a quest to change this culture. I belief that most of my family’s beliefs are incorrect; such as the practice of positive punishment to discipline children, acceptance of alcoholism, disloyalty in marriage, verbal and physical violence. This is the motivator that led me to bring to surface my own beliefs on this topic.

My father recognized the wrongfulness of such practices and instructed me to always seek to “break the chains of our traditions”. While he worked on it himself. I found a way to change our culture, by adopting the Mormon culture and being baptized into the Church, serving a mission, and practicing the beliefs of this culture that will lead to happiness and peace among my own future family.

Focusing on the fact that I am striving to change my culture; one can clearly recognize that I do not belief that all cultures are equal. A culture that is incorrect or wrong will deteriorate and not be lasting; just like my family’s culture is now in the process of adaptation to a different culture.